MonkeyTales – Episode 3 – “Chance”
by D.J. Sylvis
Listen to the episode here
D.J. SYLVIS
You are listening to MonkeyTales, a hope-punk anthology podcast. Welcome.
Today’s story is “Chance” – written by D.J. Sylvis, featuring Danielle Shemaiah and Tina Daniels.
(VER is in one of the seats, checking the instruments occasionally. JULAM, meanwhile, is stretched out on the floor, fiddling with something beneath her chair.)
JULAM
I don’t know why they put the transponder under my chair. Every time it needs reset, who winds up doing devil yoga to get to it?
(we hear her hit her head and grunt in pain)
Fucking scout ships. I’ve got jeans that are roomier than this. Okay, give it a minute to boot then you can send the data. I hope we got something decent this time. Did we get something decent this time?
(Ver doesn’t seem to notice the question)
Ver? Ver, what’s the deal with the planet? Pilot to copilot, are you with us? Fine, I’ll check for myself.
VER
No signs of life, no ice, no radiation above normal background levels. Useful minerals are at a minimum.
JULAM
Shiz. Another worthless rock. Are you sure?
VER
You can check the reports.
JULAM
No … I’m sorry. Anyway, if we don’t send the data now …
VER
Sending.
(we hear another faint noise)
JULAM
Angular speed is down a little.
VER
It’ll get out in time.
JULAM
I can’t believe there’s nothing. How do other teams find ten good planets in a row? Don’t fucking tell me it’s just luck. Somebody’s paying somebody off.
VER
No one’s been to the planets yet. How do they know?
JULAM
They know. They know. That’s how the world works.
VER
If you say so.
JULAM
We should have stuck to hauling ore.
VER
You wanted to give this a shot.
JULAM
So did you.
VER
I know. After three years on a mining run …
JULAM
Yeah.
(we hear her jumpsuit rustle as she stands up)
I’m gonna take a walk. You wanna walk with me?
VER
I’m okay.
JULAM
Put your knees up.
(Ver shifts in her seat. We hear Julam walk in a circle several times rapidly.)
VER
This was easier when you did pushups.
JULAM
What?
VER
Back on the freighter, you did pushups.
JULAM
The less space I have, the more I want to do with it. I feel like a hamster on a wheel in here.
VER
Where have you ever seen a hamster?
JULAM
On the net.
VER
We had a hamster in grade school.
JULAM
I miss the net out here.
VER
I fed him bits of my sandwich on bologna days.
JULAM
It always feels weird when you burst through the wormhole and nothing. No net. No world.
VER
Poor thing didn’t make it through the year.
JULAM
We only had virtual pets.
VER
Virtual schools.
JULAM
Virtual bologna. Mom’s vegan.
(brief pause)
How’s it going over there?
VER
Eighteen percent transmitted.
JULAM
Do you miss the net out here?
VER
I miss being able to talk to Sarah. The rest … I don’t mind being out of touch.
JULAM
Yeah.
(she drums her fingers on the arms of her chair)
I was shocked you took this job.
VER
We’re partners, right?
JULAM
But you know, with Sarah and all – on the freighter you were always in touch. Here, every time we jump …
VER
I made that choice, same as you.
JULAM
Did you guys talk about it, though? Didn’t she wonder what if –
VER
She climbs and does base jumping. We both take risks.
(she laughs suddenly)
We always have. Ask her some time how we wound up together. I stole her from her girlfriend – a marine, believe it or not.
JULAM
How’d you manage that?
VER
Oh, it’s a long story. I just did it, that’s all.
JULAM
That’s not all. Come on, gimme.
VER
We went to the same school … it was even the queer high school, but we never talked to each other. I didn’t even like her, and I had crushes on everyone. A few years later I ran into her at a bar – she was with this soldier girl type, biceps big as my head. Sarah and I wound up talking for hours while the marine played pool and pretended to ignore us. I knew I had to break them up.
JULAM
Completely wild. What did you do?
VER
All week, I was coming up with these clever plans for how I’d seduce her away and her girlfriend wouldn’t even know until it was too late. Then on Saturday, I was waiting at the same bar – the minute the marine’s back was turned I blurted it all out. Next thing you know, Sarah and I were running for the door.
JULAM
Whoa! Did the marine come after you?
VER
She wasn’t as dumb as I thought. She was out that door almost as fast as we were and caught us in the parking lot. She came running at us full-on, boots kicking up a spray of gravel, and she grabbed Sarah’s shoulder and spun her around. “You’re comin’ back in with me.” So Sarah yanked her arm away and said, “No, I’m going with her.” I’m standing there about ready to wet my pants, knees shaking – but the marine isn’t backing down, she’s grabbing Sarah again and her eyes are daring me to do something about it. So I figured what the hell, I pulled back and hit her as hard as I could in the stomach.
JULAM
Holy shiz!
VER
For a second, she just looked even madder, and I thought, now we’re gonna get it. But we got lucky –she’d been drinking for a couple of hours before I got there.
JULAM
And … she puked.
VER
She puked like she was in free-fall for the first time. All over Sarah and I … and the ground, the side of the building, a taxi waiting on the corner … she was still throwing up when we jumped into that taxi and took off.
JULAM
And you never saw her again?
(Ver makes a noise of assent)
That’s bullshit. You didn’t beat up Sarah’s marine girlfriend. I don’t believe you.
VER
I didn’t beat her up – it was one lucky shot and I ran like hell. I’m not an idiot.
JULAM
You really did that?
VER
That’s the true story of how Sarah and I met. Twenty-five years and neither of us has settled down.
JULAM
I thought I was the rowdy one.
VER
You don’t know everything about me.
JULAM
(after a beat)
So, tell me. Everything.
VER
Get serious.
JULAM
I am serious. How come you never told me that story?
VER
It just never came up.
JULAM
Tell me something else.
VER
Why don’t you tell me something?
JULAM
I’ve got nothing to tell. I’m not that exciting.
VER
Do you miss your family out here?
JULAM
It’s just my mom. She wants me to be here.
(we hear her take a few steps away)
VER
I’m sure she misses –
JULAM
She always pushed me to go into space, you know?
VER
You were born on the Moon.
JULAM
Space space, out there space. She was hooked on those old Star Trek shows, you know? There are these really embarrassing holos of her at my age dressed like a Klingin or something.
VER
On. Kling-on.
JULAM
She pushed me to get my pilot badge, to find a ship. And when I told her we were taking scouting missions … it’s funny, you expect your mom to want you at home.
VER
I’m sure she –
JULAM
I know. I know she loves me. She IMs me every day. But …
(she paces a quick revolution around the ship, Ver pulls her feet up just in time)
Jump at every chance, she told me. That’s how you make the future.
(She falls back into her seat, thumbing a switch several times in frustration, then banging her fist on the arm of the chair.)
JULAM
And our future is a ball of lifeless rock. What’re we at?
VER
Forty-three percent.
JULAM
Well, it’s your turn again, I’m done.
VER
My turn for what?
JULAM
Tell me … your deepest, darkest secret.
VER
(laughs)
Oh, no. No way.
JULAM
Come on.
VER
Do you think your mom is jealous because you went out into space space and she’s on the Moon?
JULAM
Nuh uh. Not me, you. Deepest secret. Come on.
VER
I’ll have to think about it.
JULAM
No making things up. Just … please.
VER
If I tell you, you have to answer the same thing.
JULAM
I promise.
VER
(after a pause, thoughtful)
A few years after Sarah and I got together, I tried to have a kid and … it didn’t work out.
JULAM
You mean neither of you could –
VER
Sarah didn’t know anything about it. I tried to have a kid. I had a friend, Rishi, at the gold farm I worked back on Earth. He always said he’d do anything for me … and he did. A couple of times.
JULAM
Why didn’t you get a kit? Or go to a bank?
VER
It hasn’t always been that easy, depending on who’s running things. And I wanted the best chance. I figured this way has worked for millions of years.
JULAM
So you mean you –
VER
And this isn’t where I say I had sex with a man and I liked it. That’s not – I love Sarah.
JULAM
You don’t have to tell me. I slept in your living room that last trip to Earth.
VER
You said you couldn’t hear us!
JULAM
I couldn’t, once I turned up my iPlant.
VER
Oh, geez.
JULAM
To a hundred.
VER
Shut up! Anyway, I think it’s your turn.
JULAM
That’s it? That’s your deepest secret?
VER
That’s it.
JULAM
I was gonna say I killed a man in Luna just to watch him die, but now …
VER
Classical music aside.
(there is a soft chime from the instruments)
Fifty-eight percent. We’re losing our angle, I’ll have to boost the signal.
(she makes an adjustment)
Come on, Julam. We had a deal.
JULAM
Okay … but I don’t understand why you –
VER
Because, if it didn’t work … I didn’t want to admit to Sarah I only wanted a baby if it was my baby. I didn’t want to adopt, and … I didn’t want it if she got to be pregnant. It had to be me.
JULAM
Oh.
VER
I figured, you know, easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
(Ver lifts her feet as Julam walks a quick circuit or two of the ship. Finally, she speaks:)
JULAM
I have a clone.
VER
I’m waiting for the punch line.
JULAM
Well, I don’t have it. My mom does.
VER
Your mom has a clone.
JULAM
But it’s of me. It’s not – it’s at a lab or something. She doesn’t keep it in the closet.
VER
I didn’t think anyone actually … had a clone. Just on hand, you know.
JULAM
My mom works for Luna Hospital, I guess that’s what she does – makes clones for them. She doesn’t talk about it much.
VER
But she made a clone of you.
JULAM
She made a clone of me.
(she sits down again)
She told me last time I was home. Over dinner. “Pass the soyloaf, Julamber, oh by the way, I’ve got another you I’m keeping on ice just in case.”
VER
That’s … wow. Wow.
JULAM
I’m not supposed to tell anyone, so keep it quiet.
VER
Who would I tell?
JULAM
Like I said, I know she loves me.
VER
I guess it would be hard to –
JULAM
But when I think about it – I start to wonder.
What about ‘jump at every chance’? What about striking out where nobody has
been? What does that mean when she’s got another me in case I don’t make
it?
VER
I don’t know.
JULAM
Well, if you ever have a kid who –
(she realizes what she said and turns around in her chair)
It’s just – it’s all kind of wiggly, you know? I mean, would it be me? Or just look like me?
VER
I don’t think she could really be you, not the same way –
JULAM
I know it wouldn’t be my thoughts me, my memories me – but would it – would she react like I do? If Mom cuts her hair short when she’s ten, will she throw a fit and hold her breath until she faints? If her first period comes during a field trip, will she try to call home and hit the emergency distress beacon and they’ll make fun of her all year? Will she have a virtual bunny named Wayne? How much like me will she really be?
VER
Seventy-five percent.
(there’s a soft beep from the instruments)
The data. It won’t be much longer.
JULAM
I guess it doesn’t matter. I just can’t decide if I’d want her to be another me. If I’d wish that on anybody.
VER
I think that’s why it had to be my baby; I did want another me.
JULAM
Yeah?
VER
I don’t know if I’d want that now.
(for a few moments, they are both lost in thought)
JULAM
Hey, you remember that personality thing you sent me
a few weeks back?
VER
What thing?
JULAM
That meme where you plug in your psych profile and it compares you with your friends?
VER
(laughs)
I remember it said I shouldn’t spend time around you.
JULAM
I sent the results to my mom. She keeps everything – in case the data turns out to be useful. I figured, if anything happened …
(she jumps up)
What’re we at now on the clock?
VER
Eighty-seven percent.
JULAM
It’s speeding up. Or I’m losing track of time.
VER
If anything happened?
JULAM
If anything happened to me, I figured she could compare it with – you know. To see how close she scored.
VER
Yeah.
JULAM
I guess now she’s going to get her chance.
VER
I guess so.
JULAM
Fucking scout ships. One meteorite in the wrong place at the wrong time … I’m sorry, Ver.
VER
You did everything you could. It’s just …
(there is a long, uncomfortable pause)
How much longer do we have?
JULAM
(sits down)
If you close your eyes, you can feel it. We’re in the gravity well. We’ll hit the atmosphere soon, and without rockets … that’s gonna be it.
VER
Yeah.
JULAM
Will the message make it out first?
VER
Ninety-one percent. Chances are.
JULAM
(after a moment, she giggles)
You’ll see your hamster soon.
VER
Nibbles. His name was Nibbles.
JULAM
May Nibbles be with us.
VER
Now and in the hour of our death.
JULAM
(after a pause)
Ver?
VER
Yes?
JULAM
What if you had the baby, but she didn’t turn out like you?
VER
I don’t know. I’d still love her.
JULAM
I hope my mom doesn’t compare her to me. I don’t want to be the big sister who did everything better.
VER
It’ll be okay.
(there is a soft chiming sound, they both reach up to their instruments)
One hundred percent. All the data is on its way.
JULAM
Goodbye, data.
VER
Should we try firing the engines one more time?
JULAM
I just did. No response.
(After a moment, Julam lies back in her chair. We can hear a roaring noise growing louder, as the atmosphere tears at the ship.)
VER
(looks at Julam for another moment, then lies back, closing her eyes)
We’re bouncing around a lot more.
JULAM
We’re in the atmosphere now. It won’t be long.
VER
Okay.
JULAM
(after a pause)
I hope my mom will still love her, even if …
VER
(similarly)
She will.
JULAM
Ver?
VER
Yeah?
JULAM
Hold my hand?
(The roaring noise keeps building, and the instruments chime periodically. Finally, the sound fades and the play ends.)
D.J. SYLVIS
MonkeyTales is a Monkeyman Productions podcast. Our theme is “Follow the Muse” by Deborah Linden. Our cover art is by Cora May. You can find links and more information on our website: https://monkeymanproductions.com. You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We couldn’t tell these stories without our patreon supporters, join them and get some rewards for your helpfulness at https://patreon.com/monkeymanproductions. If you’ve enjoyed this show, you might also enjoy our ongoing Sci-Fi series – Moonbase Theta, Out. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you again next month.
MUSIC
(lyrics)
Follow the muse
Follow the muse
Whenever the storyline starts to get confused…
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