MOONBASE THETA, OUT – S3 Episode 3 – “Changeover”
by D.J. Sylvis
ANNOUNCER
This is Consortium Channel 5, Moonbase Reports and Broadcasts – Brought to you by the En-Soy-Ment family of products – En-Soy Yourself!
(NOTE – there may be an ad inserted at this point before the episode)
SCENE ONE
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
(We are in a hallway approaching the inner offices of Monica Parker in the Consortium Administration Building, Rio-Sao Paolo Enclave.)
SOUND: Footsteps echoing across tile (ongoing)
AD VOICE 1
(faint, background, over a speaker)
Honey, the gang is coming over for a Dungeon Crawl. What snacks have we got for my party?
AD VOICE 2
(similarly, patronizing tone)
My husband. They’ll play until two a.m. and never stop for a meal. Good thing I stocked up on En-Soy-Ment Winglet Fryers!
ENCLAVE OFFICER
(to himself – overlapping a bit with the ad)
I could have sworn we phased those out. What happened to the Riblets in Soy-B-Q Sauce?
AD VOICE 1
Perception check! I sense another basket of Winglet Fryers!
(both ad voices laugh)
SOUND: Footsteps echoing across tile – stops
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Hey, darlin’. Is she with anyone?
RECEPTION BOT
Welcome to the offices of Enclave Vice-President Monica Parker.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
(overlapping the beginning of the next line)
I know, I know.
RECEPTION BOT
You are not listed on today’s schedule of appointments.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
I guarantee she’s expecting me.
RECEPTION BOT
You are not listed on today’s schedule of appointments.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Don’t get me wrong, I love to listen to you talk, but I’ll just let myself in.
SOUND: A faint buzzer, a door unlocking electronically and opening
RECEPTION BOT
That is an unauthorized activation of your Security device.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
I’ll make it up to you.
SOUND: Interior office background (ongoing)
SOUND: Footsteps for another moment
MONICA
(across a large room)
Keep looking. I want to know what they’ve gotten into. End transmission.
(brief pause)
At least close the door after you break into my office.
SOUND: Door closing
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Ser. You sent for me.
MONICA
I don’t like the way you talk to my reception bot.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
I’ll … keep that in mind.
MONICA
Would you get over here? I’m not shouting across a room to you.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Yes, ser.
SOUND: Footsteps across carpet, sitting down in a chair
MONICA
I haven’t heard your final report on the shutdown.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
My apologies, ser. I’ve got that almost ready. The conflict between the Enclaves took a lot of my attention.
MONICA
Don’t give me that. You knew that was just a distraction from day one. When I gave you the operation, we already owned both sides.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
It was a significant expenditure of effort and personnel in order to maintain the appearance of –
MONICA
You’re giving me the biggest headache. I. Do. Not. Care.
(the briefest of pauses)
Moonbase Theta.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Yes. The, umm, shutdown sequence is complete.
MONICA
You have confirmation?
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Included in my report.
MONICA
Well, that’s something. The other megas are waiting for my report that it’s safely under wraps.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
You have my assurance, ser.
MONICA
There were a lot of frantic messages back and forth after that Roger jackass showed up at Base Delta. A lot of CEOs after my head, which of course means they were after your head.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
There was no way that could have been predicted.
MONICA
Certainly not by an officer who fell for that ploy with the asteroid.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Now just a minute –
MONICA
(pronunciation – “Sign-o-peck”)
I think the Xinopec reps are still laughing. They wanted the project out of your hands right then. I put them off, and a few weeks later your Comms lead – a communication officer – makes their way to a near side base and –
ENCLAVE OFFICER
And that could not have been predicted. Decisions were taken out of my hands. I didn’t stop sending their supply rockets. I didn’t shut down satellite access. Those choices came down from … above.
MONICA
From my office, you mean. I made those calls, and if you intend to question them …
(dangerously)
We can have that conversation.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
(after a moment)
No, ser.
MONICA
It’s all said and done now anyway, if Theta shutdown is complete. And you tell me it is.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Moonbase Theta has been shut down.
MONICA
There you are. That’s all I needed from you. You can let yourself out.
SOUND: Getting out of her chair, an elegant footstep or two
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Ser?
MONICA
The same door you broke in. Don’t talk to the bot on your way.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
What about my other projects? We’ve shut down every Freehold within a thousand klicks, the En-Soy-Ment campaign has been –
MONICA
Don’t waste my time with irrelevancies.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Irrelevancies? I don’t think you understand what I’ve accomplished –
MONICA
I don’t think you understand your position. What you’ve accomplished was designed to be shit.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Excuse me?
MONICA
You took two of our best Enclaves and ran them into the ground. I don’t care, that’s exactly what we put you there to do.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Ser?
MONICA
Rio, Sao Paolo – do you think we didn’t know you would fuck them? You’re our example to … everywhere, if they don’t straighten up. And then there’s Base Theta. We brought you in to break things. It’s your special skill.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Now just a minute. This doesn’t all come down on me. You signed off on every move I made. Like you said, you made the calls. And things up here don’t look so well-managed. There’s an awful lot of empty offices.
MONICA
You’ll never see your name on one. You don’t have the first idea what’s gone on at this level. The Enclaves, the megacorporations, the balance of power.
(brief pause)
The Moonbase program was a catastrophe, an economic debacle, and placing blame will be everyone’s favourite party game for the next decade. You were in there, for sure, you had your little part to play, but now it’s done and …
(slowly, with careful cruelty)
You … are … irrelevant.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
Don’t you underestimate … you throw me to the wolves, I’ll take you right down with me.
MONICA
The wolves! As if you were useful now, even as a scapegoat. Your Enclaves are in ruin, your work on the Moon is a global embarrassment, your … projects are the most pointless I could assign.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
That’s what you say now, but –
MONICA
En-Soy-Ment is a flash in the pan, those factories will go under within months, and the Freeholds – the only thing you’ve done there is interrupt my supply chain for Peaberry coffee, which is enough reason to push the button on you here and now. You’re lucky they took out my supervillain trap doors in the last renovation.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
You’ve got to be kidding.
MONICA
Maybe I am. You can take my sense of humour as a sign of your … slight reprieve for the moment. Only slight, only barely. You’ll go back to your hole in Space Administration and do the work I send you. You still answer to me, and you’ll be digging anything useful from the rubble here until the day you die. Or we let you retire, which is the best you can hope for.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
What makes you think the Consortium will last that long? What makes you think you’ll last that long?
MONICA
I don’t think you understand. If every part of this goes tits up, if every mega comes falling down … I have a mountain.
ENCLAVE OFFICER
What’s that?
MONICA
I own a mountain, it’s in the Sierra de Pacaraima. It’s been fully stocked for a decade, just waiting. There’s a hundred metre waterfall. What have you got if things fall apart?
(after a moment)
That’s what I thought. Get out of my office.
SOUND: After a pause, we hear footsteps on carpet receding
MONICA
Tell the bot to send in a fresh carafe of coffee. Make sure that’s all you tell them.
SOUND: Interior office background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SCENE TWO
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Kitchen ambience fading in (music – RAMP track TBD) – ongoing
(We are in the kitchen area on Moonbase Theta. Roger is there alone.)
SOUND: Spoon in bowl
ROGER
We’re at what, week … minus four? Minus five? Minus something, now … and all you can find in the kitchen are raw proteins. This does not bode well for my refined palate.
SOUND: Spoon in bowl
ROGER
Ugh. How can this be slimy and gritty at the same time? That coffee better be ready soon.
(pause)
Oh yeah … Alex, hi again. Hope you enjoyed that breakfast review.
SOUND: Bowl set down on counter
SOUND: Coffee percolating
ROGER
It’s been quite the time up here the last few days. I’d forgotten about … people. Not you, love, you know … people. Sure, Tumnus is like people but … not. Don’t tell her I said that. I mean, when you’re ever on the Moon. Anyway, she knows not to –
SOUND: Footsteps that cut Roger off
DR. RINGLING
Oh. Roger. I’m sorry, was I …?
ROGER
No, no, just … having some of these delicious breakfast proteins before the supply runs low. Help yourself.
DR. RINGLING
I’d rather not. Soy products give me hives.
ROGER
That’s unfortunate, all things considered up here.
DR. RINGLING
I keep a case of granola bars back at the lab.
ROGER
I … wish I’d known that.
DR. RINGLING
You probably didn’t check the Biohazards cabinet. I just wanted to slip in early while there’s still –
SOUND: Running footsteps cut her off
DR. DAY
Coffee! Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee.
SOUND: Guzzling coffee greedily from the pot
DR. RINGLING
Dammit!
DR. DAY
(pausing for breath)
Gods, this is awful. The worst.
SOUND: Guzzling coffee greedily from the pot
DR. RINGLING
Seriously?
SOUND: Hurried footsteps
DR. JUST
Did I make it before Doctor Day – dammit!
DR. DAY
Ha ha!
SOUND: Drinking again
DR. JUST
Could you at least use a mug, so we could – have the pot –
DR. DAY
(Dr. Raptor)
Rawrrrr!
DR. JUST
At least tell me there’s something other than raw proteins.
SOUND: Stool sliding out
DR. JUST
Pardon me, Roger.
ROGER
No no! It’s a communal kitchen! Commune!
SOUND: Unhurried footsteps, the next line coming up as she enters
DR. SEMAAN
So they asked me, what type of music do you listen to? And before I could reply – it’s a hard question, music is a big important thing – they said, of course, rock. And I like a good pun as much as the next nerd, but a good pun. So I dumped a beer in their lap. Six months later, we’re still together.
TUMNUS
I … see.
DR. SEMAAN
Sorry, you did ask about relationships.
TUMNUS
I meant within the confines of our Moonbase.
DR. SEMAAN
Oh. I don’t spend much time around this lot. Can you blame me?
SOUND: A minor scuffle, dishes clinking together
DR. JUST
Doctor – Day! Doctor Day! If you’d give back the – pot –
DR. DAY
(Dr. Raptor)
Grr! Not a chance! Stay back, mammal trash!
DR. RINGLING
But it’s empty!
ROGER
Look, if you could just … move, I’ll get out and you can do whatever this is without my –
DR. SEMAAN
(whistles to get their attention)
Hey! Clown troupe! Oh sorry Roger, didn’t see you there in the corner, I don’t mean you. Or you, Tumnus. Just this bunch.
DR. JUST
You don’t have to be insulting to get our attention.
DR. SEMAAN
I know; it just saves time.
DR. DAY
(aside)
I’ve never tried being a clown. I wonder what the benefits are like?
DR. SEMAAN
I just thought we should touch base for a minute before I head out – I’ll be spending the day in the mining tunnels, if anyone wanted to join me for a stroll.
DR. DAY
(after a pause, whispering)
Could you pass the pudding bars?
SOUND: A slight jello-like wiggly noise
DR. SEMAAN
As I thought. I’ve heard there was an … unexpected collapse during the shutdown and I want to take a look for myself. But we didn’t finish our discussion yesterday and you’re not making decisions without me. Wait, who’s missing?
DR. JUST
Where is Doctor Serano? She’s usually first to the kitchen.
DR. DAY
(mouth full, insulted)
She’s been sleeping in the lab to guard her test subjects.
DR. RINGLING
How can you eat those?
DR. SEMAAN
Annnnnd we’re off track already.
SOUND: Stool sliding out
DR. RINGLING
Doctor Semaan, with all respect perhaps I should conduct this discussion.
DR. SEMAAN
(just starting to notice them, a hint of flirtation)
Please do. I like your bow tie, by the way.
DR. RINGLING
(embarrassed, flattered)
Thank you. Now, it’s been a bit of time now … together, and we should discuss who might be next on the list for revivification.
DR. JUST
Before we do that –
DR. RINGLING
Edwin, if I could continue –
DR. JUST
Before we do any of that, I believe we should discuss –
DR. RINGLING
I know where you’re going, and that is on the list.
DR. JUST
We need to discuss basic supplies and food rationing.
DR. DAY
(still eating)
Absolutely.
DR. JUST
Food rationing. As there will be no more supply rockets, a proper inventory and resource distribution plan is needed –
DR. RINGLING
And that is on the list. I suggest we return to our previous discussion focusing on members of Agriculture and Maintenance, who could …
SOUND: Digging through the cupboard
DR. RINGLING
Doctor Day, what are you doing?
DR. DAY
I thought I’d make more coffee. Does anyone want some?
(the next few responses overlap)
DR. RINGLING
Could you please!
DR. JUST
Are you planning to share this time?
DR. SEMAAN
Oh! Make mine a latte!
DR. RINGLING
Enough! Back to the matter at hand –
DR. DAY
So none for you, Kris?
DR. RINGLING
Agriculture and Maintenance! Who will run the farm –
DR. JUST
Before it’s raw proteins for every meal –
DR. RINGLING
And who will manage resource inventory and upkeep, the very points Doctor Just has mentioned.
DR. JUST
Thank you.
DR. SEMAAN
I’ll need assistance switching the mining back over, which is technically Maintenance as well.
DR. DAY
What about a medic?
DR. RINGLING
All right, that’s a … fair consideration, I’ll add that to the list.
DR. DAY
I mean right now. I burned my finger on the hot plate.
DR. RINGLING
Roger? Roger, do you have your hand up?
ROGER
I’d just like to have a hall pass, if I could?
SOUND: Scuffle, stools sliding as Roger makes his way out
ROGER
Excuse me … pardon … behind you …
DR. DAY
Can I at least get someone to kiss it and make it better?
DR. RINGLING
Doctor Day!
SOUND: Sliding door closes
SOUND: Kitchen ambience ends
SOUND: Hall background (a/c) begins
ROGER
Well. That was particularly painful.
TUMNUS
I am increasingly concerned.
ROGER
You and me both. They are getting way out of control.
DR. DAY
(muffled, next room)
Does anyone know what happened to the rest of the chocolate?
TUMNUS
We need assistance, now more than ever.
ROGER
So you’re really going to do this?
TUMNUS
I don’t see another choice.
ROGER
Unless we want that group of bozos to run the circus. When we talked about it at first, you didn’t think it was doable. What’s changed?
TUMNUS
I have recorded Doctor Just discussing the process while he worked on a stasis pod –
ROGER
I hope it was the tardigrades.
TUMNUS
He demonstrated the steps where a subject might be held mid-revival for repair.
ROGER
You didn’t tell him? Of course you didn’t. So you can bring her out partway and … same as with the stasis pod, just follow the schematics? Put Humpty Dumpty together again? Don’t tell Wilder I called her dumpty.
TUMNUS
Yes and no. It is not simply a matter of following instructions. An operating physician spends years in training, experiences hundreds of surgical procedures before taking charge themselves. There are aspects you can only learn by doing.
ROGER
This is starting to sound a little bit familiar.
TUMNUS
Indeed. I have already set up the simulation.
ROGER
Okay, I’m game. When do I scrub up?
TUMNUS
I think you should stay out here. My processing capabilities will be fully consumed with parallel simulations for … it is difficult to predict. Numerous hours.
ROGER
And someone should keep an eye on things out here.
DR. RINGLING
(muffled, next room)
If you do not follow parliamentary procedure I will blow my top!
ROGER
I’ve got it. But … you’ll be okay in there for all that time alone?
TUMNUS
I assure you, I will not be alone.
SOUND: Hall background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SCENE THREE
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
(We start with Tumnus already inside the simulation.)
SOUND: VR Transition effect (see prologue episodes)
TUMNUS
Begin stasis pod simulation. Insert medical information for crew member, “Wilder – Maintenance Lead.” Update to final scan as of December 14, 2098.
SOUND: Metal cracking, minor Wilder’s arm buzz
TUMNUS
Visual analysis is … somehow different from analyzing the data. All right.
(for a moment, she is silent, then)
All right. As per updated procedural notes from Doctor Edwin Just, perform revivification, holding at process step fourteen.
SOUND: Hiss of escaping air from stasis pod, successful beep
TUMNUS
Body temperature twenty point two degrees Celsius. Vital signs stable. The hold is successful. Now …
(she hesitates, but talks herself into proceeding)
… to proceed with reconstruction. Yes.
(surname is pronounced “Ah-poi-dee-ah”)
Resume recorded notes from Enclave Cybernetic Therapist Lark Apoidea.
LARK (Rec.)
In the case of complete system failure, or extreme physical distress – remind me to tell you later about Patient Zed, who wrecked his transtibial on a roller coaster – they are not kidding when they say hands and feet inside the carriage –
TUMNUS
Skip forward –
LARK (Rec.)
The ideal solution is to … well, swap the limb out, at least temporarily. Attempting major repairs while the interface is still … interfacing, is not ideal.
TUMNUS
Agreed.
LARK (Rec.)
But hey, it’s not a perfect world! Or, you know, a perfect Moon if that’s where you happen to be. Let’s look at emergency repairs for those less-than-perfect environments.
(after a brief pause)
A modified spinal block will be required for most major reconstructions. You can switch off connections via the neural link – just like hitting a light switch – but you’ll need to shut down the system’s security protocols first. I only had to learn that lesson once!
TUMNUS
(unsure)
Neural link … identified and under my control. Connections temporarily halted. There appear to be no security protocols in place.
(pause, thoughtfully)
Tag for review after simulation is complete – full scan of all cybernetic system software and the related cortex applications. Proceed.
LARK (Rec.)
(fading out at the end of this line)
The interface is probably a good place to begin, as damage here can result in loss of muscular, neural, and myoelectrical connections necessary to the overall unit …
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
Attempt thirteen – logged – failure. Interface repairs will not hold. Reset simulation.
(after a moment)
Replay previous attempt to time setting two-sixteen-forty-three. Resume.
LARK (Rec.)
Bonding of the silicone lining to the interface must be complete, while allowing connections to line up precisely.
TUMNUS
Bonding is precise.
LARK (Rec.)
And I do mean precise. You don’t want to be digging inside somebody’s ankle to fix that when they wake up – I had a patient, call them Cee, I didn’t know they were a kickboxer
TUMNUS
Bonding is precise, connections appear complete. Commence testing …
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
Attempt fourteen – logged – failure. Proper connections were not made. Reset simulation.
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
Damn it. Attempt three hundred and twelve – logged – failure. Interface repairs are holding, but the socket fractures did … not. Reset simulation. Replay to time setting … four-eleven-thirteen. Resume.
LARK (Rec.)
– socket replacement is recommended, as this point is key for load transmission, stability and control. You do not want to see someone’s transradial flop to the side like a … chicken wing. Oh, Patient Q. You never did use that gift card.
TUMNUS
Could she just …?
LARK (Rec.)
Sorry, socket fractures.
TUMNUS
Thank you.
LARK (Rec.)
If you don’t have access to a fabrication facility, you can attempt a metal stitching repair by the following method.
TUMNUS
All right. Attempting metal stitching of the socket fractures. Again.
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
(starting to sound a bit weary)
Attempt nine hundred and two – logged – failure. The repair path is successful to those micro … microprocessor replacements just above the elbow. Reset simulation, replay to … five-twenty or so.
LARK (Rec.)
– the microprocessors, those can be a little bit tricky.
TUMNUS
Do you think?
LARK (Rec.)
Here’s a little trick I figured out when Patient W wouldn’t stop flexing.
TUMNUS
Stop playback. I remember. Just let me make the connections … just let me …
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
(more upset than the last time it failed)
Damn it! Pause simulation. Just … stay paused.
(after a moment or two of silence, pulling herself together)
Attempt nine hundred and three – logged – failure.
(another short pause)
Play music, blisspop track by Lavender.
SOUND: Music from S3P2 plays again for a few moments, long enough to recognize the melody
TUMNUS
Music off.
SOUND: Music ends
TUMNUS
Well … shit.
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
Attempt sixteen forty-five … no go. Mark it down. The motor controls in the … terminal device – in Wilder’s hand – have been a real pain in the ass. And I don’t even have an ass!
(brief pause)
Nice one, Tumnus. I don’t even have an ass!
(pause, determined)
Reset simulation. Replay to … you know, where it went wrong last time. You know what we’re doing here.
LARK (Rec.)
The adjustment of the – I call them tendons but the replacement is actually –
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: A slight disappointing beep
TUMNUS
Fine! Fine! Attempt … whatever that was, thing, Eighteen-sixty. You gotta admit, we’re getting closer every time. Lark, where’s that leave us?
LARK (Rec.)
The final phase of a successful reconstruction is a step by step reboot of the entire neural link. You’d think this would be simple, but I could tell you some stories …
TUMNUS
What about Patient Zed? When do you come back to Patient Zed? I want to know what happened!
(There is an extended pause.)
TUMNUS
All right Tumnus, old bean. Here we go. You’ve got this.
(She starts to hum to herself as she works. We fade out.)
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SCENE FOUR
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Stasis background (ongoing)
(We are in the supply area with the stasis pods. Tumnus is still humming.)
SOUND: Delicate servos being manipulated, glass rattling
SOUND: (a few moments later) Footsteps on metal, uneven
ROGER
(half-asleep)
We’re doing this now? We’re – you couldn’t wait until morning? Theoretical morning, it’s dark phase, I don’t expect you to wait for –
TUMNUS
Roger! Mx. Bragado-Fischer! My friend, my partner in crime! I suppose we are partners in crime now, not quite what you sang about but close enough!
ROGER
Tumnus?
TUMNUS
Son of Adam, how would it be if you came and had tea with me?
ROGER
Something seems different.
TUMNUS
I thought we deserved a bit of whimsy. It was a long, long, long day figuring this out. An absolute pain in the ass.
(she chuckles, taking some time to sort out how laughter works)
I said that earlier, somewhere in the sixteen hundreds. A pain in the ass, and I don’t even have an ass. It sounds funnier now that you’re here.
ROGER
Is there some way that you’re drunk?
TUMNUS
Not as such, but I admit, I feel … affected. Changed. It was a long day, Roger. A long, long day.
ROGER
How long? I mean, I know we did about a hundred thirty repetitions altogether sorting out the stasis pod. I’m guessing you went around a few more times on this?
TUMNUS
Two thousand, six hundred and thirteen, actually.
ROGER
I figured it was a bit more involved – wait, give me that again?
TUMNUS
Two thousand, six hundred and thirteen. Running in parallel, with an average simulation time of seven hours, fifty minutes.
ROGER
That’s got to be years. I mean, from your point of view.
TUMNUS
Almost two and a half.
ROGER
And you’re doing “almost.” That’s new, too.
(brief pause, absorbing it all)
Two and a half years running simulations. I guess it’s not surprising if you changed a little.
TUMNUS
I do feel different. I do feel, which is different.
ROGER
Do you need to, I don’t know, take some time to adjust before …
TUMNUS
Oh, I’m fully adjusted. One minute to –
SOUND: A small chiming noise
TUMNUS
One minute and then we’ll –
SOUND: The chiming noise repeats
TUMNUS
Sorry, task reminder. I wanted to scan the software and apps before we bring Wilder back, just being safe. When I went in, there weren’t any of the usual security protocols …
(pause, thoughtfully)
I’m wrong. There were security protocols, but they had been …
ROGER
Deactivated?
TUMNUS
How did you know?
ROGER
Michell left a message before he put himself under. I don’t know why he felt like he needed to confess to me, but … he got in there and did some tampering.
TUMNUS
That would violate several of the terms of service.
ROGER
What a guy, huh?
TUMNUS
I’ll fix that on my way out, but … she’s not gonna be happy.
ROGER
Yeah. I don’t envy you breaking that news.
TUMNUS
Why am I telling her?
ROGER
She might kill me. She might kill him.
TUMNUS
Those are good points.
(she sighs)
ROGER
You’re sighing now, too?
TUMNUS
You owe me, Bragado-Fischer.
ROGER
That’s pretty well-established.
(after a moment)
We’re still gonna do this thing?
TUMNUS
What other choice have we got?
SOUND: Mechanisms – Tumnus’ servo-manipulators – opening up
ROGER
Whoa! Those are new.
TUMNUS
Not really, but I’ve never used them outside the observatory.
ROGER
I mean, colour me impressed, but another plot point to note when this turns into a horror show. “Oh no, the computer has …” What do you call those things? Claws? Pincers?
TUMNUS
The technical name is servo-manipulators, but I’m just calling them … hands. My hands. Need a hand? All hands on deck!
ROGER
If you had those, why did I have to fix the stasis pods?
TUMNUS
I didn’t have much experience then. You’ve been using your hands a lot longer.
ROGER
You’ve got me there. But now you’ve got another two and a half years of experience! In creepy robot claws. Put that on your resume.
TUMNUS
But I do need your help. Partner.
ROGER
In crime. Don’t forget the crime. What can I do?
TUMNUS
What you do best. While I make the repairs … talk to me?
ROGER
… okay? Like, reading the instructions? Giving you the news and surface temperature? A quick sensurround review?
TUMNUS
Anything. I’m feeling … less sure of myself. An unexpected part of my becoming.
ROGER
Somebody should have warned you.
TUMNUS
I could use a distraction.
ROGER
Ask anyone, distractions are my special skill. Whenever you’re ready,
SOUND: The glass cover of the stasis pod opening, hiss of escaping air
SOUND: Delicate servos being manipulated
TUMNUS
I suppose … no time like this time.
ROGER
I feel like I should mop your brow, but you haven’t got one.
TUMNUS
(almost laughs)
Not as funny as my joke about the ass.
SOUND: Beginning to work with the servo manipulator arms (ongoing in background)
ROGER
It’s hard to beat a good ass joke. Okay, you do your thing. I’m gonna … did I ever tell you about my dogs? Cas and Pol – Castor and Pollux, I picked the names when Alex brought them home. Because they’re twins, though I was thinking more about the stars than mythological figures.
SOUND: Delicate repair work – somewhere between surgery and a machine shop
ROGER
(fades out at the end of this line)
Anyway, Cas – she’s the moody one, she sits outside the door and yowls for attention while Pol is up in your face, she’s the one you have to earn her love, you know what I mean? You have to work for it. Pol, if you’ve got a treat or you’re holding the ball, you could be a burglar and she’d still …
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Roger snoring quietly
TUMNUS
(gently)
Roger. You can wake up now, we’re done.
SOUND: Roger groans, unwilling to wake
TUMNUS
(rousing him with poetry)
“Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;”
ROGER
(waking up)
“I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.” Roethke at this hour is dirty pool.
(shaking out of it)
It’s done? Is Wilder …
TUMNUS
The surgery is done. She’s still coming out of stasis.
ROGER
It all went okay?
TUMNUS
I think so. I was able to add additional stabilizers and upgrade the link into the neural network – better than okay, if we’re lucky.
ROGER
What time is it? Did I finish the story?
TUMNUS
You drifted off around the part with the puppies.
ROGER
Oh, the puppies.
TUMNUS
Thank you for staying here with me.
ROGER
Sure. I mean, we’re in this together.
TUMNUS
(callback to his song in S3P3)
“Roger and Tumnus, the dynamic duo, Roger and Tumnus – “
SOUND: She is interrupted by Wilder groaning, waking up
TUMNUS
Hello? Wilder?
WILDER
(very groggy at first)
I know what you’re thinkin’ … but I woke up like this.
TUMNUS
Do you feel … well? Are you okay? All your vitals are stable.
WILDER
(still groggy)
Yeah. Do I know you?
ROGER
It’s okay. You’re still on Base Theta. You’re on the moon.
WILDER
Roger? Why th’ hell did you – wait, how th’ hell did you? Someone’s got a lot of explainin’ to –
SOUND: Wilder’s arm revving up, much smoother than last season
WILDER
Eliza? Darlin’, is that you?
SOUND: Her arm in motion again, running smoothly, insistent
WILDER
You sound all kinds of better.
SOUND: One more quick response from her arm
WILDER
(after a pause)
Does anyone have a can of pop?
SOUND: Wilder’s arm one more time
SOUND: Stasis background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
(The episode ends.)
D.J. SYLVIS
You’ve just listened to Moonbase Theta, Out. This episode featured Jen Ponton, Leeman Kessler, David S. Dear, Dallas Wheatley, Sarah Rhea Warner, Shereen Lani Younes, D.J. Sylvis, Shade Oyemakinwa, Nerys Howell, Claudia Elvidge, and Tina Daniels. Special guest appearances by Sean Howard and Eli Hamada McIlveen. The consortium announcer is played by Evan Tess Murray. Sound design and editing by Will Gianetta. Written by D.J. Sylvis, and produced by D.J. Sylvis and Cass McPhee. Our associate producers are Timothy LaGrone, Marty Chodorek, and Sarah Müller.
A huge thank you to all of our season three supporters on Seed&Spark – our audio shoutout this week goes to Manda Whitney with “Room Escape Divas” a podcast by escape enthusiasts who’ve done far more escape rooms than they’d like to admit. check out: https://inversegenius.com/roomescapedivas and follow @MandaWhitney on Twitter.
We also depend on our Patreon backers to make the show possible. For as little as a dollar a month you could join them and get early episode access, special features, and that great feeling of knowing you’re making awesome audio fiction possible. Check us out at: https://patreon.com/monkeymanproductions.
Our theme music is “Star” by the band Ramp. Check them out at https://ramp-music.net. Transcripts, cast bios, additional music attribution, and more are found on our website: https://monkeymanproductions.com.
Looking for other great audio drama? Visit: https://fableandfolly.com to learn all about the other shows on our network. Our recommendation this week is a bit of a genre switch, something we’ve enjoyed a lot – “Super Idols RPG” an actual play podcast set in the world of teen idols with superpowers. You can find it in all the apps, or at: https://superidolsrpg.wordpress.com.
That’s it for now, we’ll be back in two weeks and a whole new year! Happy almost 2021 when this airs. Until the next part of our story – stay safe, be good to each other, and tell excellent stories.
ANNOUNCER
Consortium Channel 5 ends our broadcast day with a final message: honour all curfews, listen to Security, and KEEP WATCHING THE MOON.
NOTE – There may be an ad inserted at this point before the episode.
