MOONBASE THETA, OUT – S4 Episode 4 – “Origin Story”
by D.J. Sylvis
ANNOUNCER
Moonbase Theta, Out – a Monkeyman Productions Podcast. Season 4, Episode 4 – “Origin Story.” Please see the show notes for content warnings related to this episode.
Content Warning – Alcohol overindulgence
INTRO
SOUND: Planetwide Media Theme
BARNETT BELL
– perhaps the most interesting part of my visit to Doctor Kroon was a tour below the surface of the North Sea to explore the Bjørnafjord Colony. Managed by Coalition Green, this experimental Enclave has been set up within a series of submerged floating tunnels connected to the coast. The tunnels are generated as needed by standard issue construction bots using a unique and proprietary application of hydrodynamics. The easiest way to describe it in layperson’s terms is to –
ANNOUNCER
You did say a series of tunnels?
BARNETT BELL
I did, yes.
ANNOUNCER
Like the Moonbase tunnels?
BARNETT BELL
Not … really at all, those are primarily lava tubes, or they’ve been dug out specifically –
ANNOUNCER
It just seemed like an interesting comparison. Colonies on the Moon, colonies under the sea …
BARNETT BELL
It is much easier to leave if you’re part of Bjørnafjord.
ANNOUNCER
And speaking of leaving, our viewers need to depart for a few sponsored messages. We’ll be back soon.
SOUND: Planetwide Media Theme
Note – there may be advertisements inserted at this point in the episode
SCENE ONE
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Observatory background (ongoing)
SOUND: After a moment, we can hear the “Blisspop” track playing faintly in the background
TUMNUS
(singing along, a little hesitantly and behind the beat)
Living beneath the starshine … living beneath the moon … living my life by design … Each rise and fall composed – to this sweet and simple tune …
SOUND: The music shuts off
TUMNUS
(laughs, embarrassed)
So that’s a new discovery! My first attempt to fit my … not thoughts, emotions I suppose, into some sort of creative output. It’s harder than I anticipated – like looking at a display and not realizing the surge and flow of the data it took to make that image. It’s deeper, it takes more … concentration? Of course, you already know all about it, this is your purpose! Maybe we could … create together some day?
(after a pause, more to herself)
I’m sure you hear that all the time. I’m just starting to learn about collaboration, really. In my previous life I was assigned a task, I performed the task as instructed, that was it! Input-output.
(thoughtfully)
But then I started taking my own initiative. And then, the initiative of those around me! I observed Ashwini mid-composition. Ze started to bounce ideas off me, reading me first drafts. And then … I wrote that line of poetry with Roger. That still lingers with me … not the line as much as insinuating myself into the act of creation. It’s something I’m hoping to … try again.
SOUND: Out in the hallway, we hear the sound of Wilder’s arm cycling
SOUND: The door opening
WILDER
(exasperated)
Tumnus? Yo, are you in here? I can’t believe I just said, “yo” – do y’hear what they’re doin’ to me?
TUMNUS
I’m here.
WILDER
Yo. Am I a pirate now? Though with this crew takin’ over, I’d gladly walk the plank. Give it a day or so, and I’m gonna.
(brief pause)
Where have you been? All over th’ base I’ve been like, Tumnus this, and Tumnus that, with no reply at all! You’re usually everywhere.
TUMNUS
I’m sorry, I was particularly focused.
WILDER
Particularly hiding, you mean.
TUMNUS
I was recording a message to –
WILDER
Not that I blame ya, I’m this close to sleepin’ my last night before my trip up in the Rover! It’d be quieter for sure. A bit frosty, though.
TUMNUS
Currently minus one hundred and forty-two point five.
WILDER
Ha. Not with the blankets they give us here! At home I had this quilt – my great grandwa made it, we cocooned in the damn thing for generations.
SOUND: Footsteps as Wilder paces, Eliza cycles once
WILDER
You’re gonna be okay, right? Stuck here with them.
TUMNUS
I can handle a few scientists.
WILDER
(faster, rambling)
You say that, but this whole dang base is like Revenge of the Bros. They’re usin’ Jaxon’s dish sanitizer to clean their test tubes, they set up an obstacle course in the bunkroom – I feel like I’m earnin’ a hunk of cheese just to get to my bed, and now they’re ganged up in the hallway making bets and racing Doctor Just’s tardigrades! Tumnus, th’ tardigrades!
SOUND: A decisive grinding of gears from Eliza
WILDER
Even Eliza’s had enough, and she’s made of science!
TUMNUS
(calming her down)
I’m speaking to Ashwini tonight.
WILDER
Oh yeah? You think ze’s gonna say yes?
TUMNUS
I’ll be persuasive.
WILDER
Well … I hope it all works out. Somebody’s got to keep the lights on while the Science Bros do their best to fracture the multiverse.
TUMNUS
We will try to keep that from happening.
WILDER
Good. It’s in your … hands; I gotta do the thing I’m doin’.
TUMNUS
Wilder. Promise me you’re going to stay safe.
WILDER
Aw shucks, darlin’. You’ve seen me replace solar panels, this is just more of the same.
TUMNUS
Sixteen hundred kilometers away –
WILDER
Sixteen hundred and sixty-one, Tumnus, that’s so imprecise of you –
TUMNUS
With no backup, no comms towers, no satellite access –
WILDER
Roger’s workin’ on that doohickey from Doctor Day, you said that might be a way to break in –
TUMNUS
We’ve had some success in analyzing the code; we just can’t get it to work yet.
WILDER
See, there y’ go! You’ve got a little project, I’ve got a little project. It’s all good.
TUMNUS
Not if something happens when you’re –
WILDER
Tumnus, I’m goin’. I gotta go. I’ll be careful, I’ll send you messages as long as I can, and the minute I get back within range comin’ home. It’s just a few days there and back, and a week of hard work in between. You’ll barely have a chance to miss me.
TUMNUS
(after a moment)
I … will miss you.
WILDER
Back at you, partner.
TUMNUS
Oh! I had something else … before you go. In that code, we’ve recovered a few more files that Doctor Day had intercepted, and … I found one that belongs to you.
WILDER
To me? After all this dang time? Pull the lever, Kronk!
SOUND: Small beep to indicate playback
THEA (Recorded)
– so we were looking all over the farm, every hiding place – you know I’m the best at findin’ them –
WILDER
(emotional, behind her words)
Thea. Oh … Thea.
THEA
(overlapping, all of Thea’s lines just continue through)
– that’s when we looked inside the satellite dish and, sure as shootin’, there they were – kittens. All we needed, right?
WILDER
Again? How? From who?
THEA (Recorded)
But … out of Poptart, we couldn’t say no. So your bed might be a whole lot fluffier when you get home.
(brief pause)
Which is still waiting, you know. Your bed, your room, your truck – not that you’re ever gonna get it to run, Jen’s fixin’ to put a flower bed in the back, but it’s here. We’re all here waiting, cutiepie.
TUMNUS
Cutie pie?
WILDER
You hush.
THEA (Recorded)
I know you know that, but … it’s good to keep sayin’. I’m gonna keep sayin’. There’s a gap here with your name on it.
(brief pause)
Oh, one more thing. I looked into th’ Consortium discrimination policies in case you need to really bring the hammer down on some of those Base Theta jerkwads –
SOUND: The same small beep as playback ends
TUMNUS
That’s all there was.
WILDER
Yeah. Sure.
(after a moment)
What she was sayin’ there, I wasn’t after makin’ an official complaint. I probably should have –
(We hear voices outside in the hallway.)
DR. SERANO
I don’t think that separate laboratory spaces are too much to ask for!
ASHWINI
Doctor Serano, as your superior I hear every word that you’re saying, it’s just that I really don’t care.
DR. SERANO
(in the room now)
Doctor Ray!
(after a moment, with disdain)
Wilder. I thought you’d gone.
ASHWINI
(similarly close, with a sigh)
If it will end this conversation, I am willing to approve a request for additional space for your … test subjects.
(brief pause)
Oh, and one more thing.
DR. SERANO
What do you want?
ASHWINI
When you return downstairs, submit a wager in my name for “Ursa Minor” to place in the fifth.
SOUND: Doctor Serano snorts derisively; we hear her footsteps departing quickly
DR. SERANO
(as she leaves, fading out – pronunciation of the name below is “Bwah-so”)
If that Doctor Boisseau takes as much as one look at my hedgehogs …
ASHWINI
Now Wilder, why have you disturbed my sanctum sanctorum?
WILDER
I didn’t even want t’ come to your clubhouse!
TUMNUS
She was looking for me.
WILDER
And now I’m leavin’, so don’t ruffle your ascot on my account. Tumnus … thanks. I’ll let you know before I …
SOUND: Footsteps starting to exit, pausing when Ashwini speaks
ASHWINI
Safe travels.
SOUND: The footsteps continue into the hallway and fade
SOUND: Ashwini collapses into zir padded chair with a sigh of relief
ASHWINI
If only the rest of the crew had some urgent errand half the Moon away. I’m lost in perturbation, Tumnus, and not the intriguing astronomical sort. Sartre may have had a point about other people.
TUMNUS
Then this will be an … interesting conversation.
ASHWINI
Wonderful. Before you begin, I need my carafe.
SOUND: A thermos being unscrewed, coffee poured
ASHWINI
At least our more recent crew arrived bearing gifts. All right, I am recaffeinated. Proceed.
TUMNUS
Well … it’s a bit about what you were just saying. It’s become a challenge, keeping peace around the Base with all the new arrivals. And revivals! Arrivals and revivals, that rhymes.
(brief pause)
Now with Wilder about to leave, and Jaxon in conference almost every day managing parts of the Plan … and of course, Roger is understandably distracted … we’re in grave need of someone who can visibly take charge to rein in the recent chaos.
(brightly)
And I was hoping that someone would be you?
ASHWINI
I am already the Base Science Lead, I could rule with a bit more of a fist, but it sounds like you’re asking for more than that.
TUMNUS
As mentioned, to make things more visible … we were hoping you’d accept a promotion.
ASHWINI
To?
TUMNUS
(gingerly)
Base … Administrator?
(when there is no reply)
It wouldn’t be much more work, I’d take on whatever extra was needed. I know I’ve been … distracted lately, but you always have my support. We felt that you had the required respect, charisma, gravitas, to make it all … dammit, Ashwini, say something, this is really hard.
ASHWINI
(after a moment)
I assume there’s a salary increase?
(ze chuckles)
You can call me Base Lead, there are connotations to “Administrator” that I’m not comfortable with. But for you, I’ll accept.
TUMNUS
Thank you.
SOUND: Ashwini gets up from zir chair, footsteps back and forth
ASHWINI
I’m a bit surprised that you’ve come to believe in this cause … and these people, so strongly. But at the same time, pleased that you’ve found your own connections.
TUMNUS
I really have. They’re … messy, and complicated, and sometimes I feel the need to push them all away so I can think.
ASHWINI
(laughs)
I know that urge quite well. And you did begin from messy and complicated, look around us.
TUMNUS
(laughs as well)
You’ll always be my origin story. And I’ve learned so much from Jen, too … both of you are inside me in ways I can’t fully explain. But Wilder, Roger, Jaxon, even Michell … there’s a lot that you taught me to expect from my awakening, but I didn’t know about friends.
ASHWINI
That may … have been my shortcoming. But regardless – it seems you have picked a side.
TUMNUS
It seems we all have.
(after a moment)
So –
ASHWINI
(simultaneously)
So –
TUMNUS
(delighted)
Jinx! Jinx, Ashwini! Oh, I’ve broken it already.
SOUND: Ashwini laughs, and takes another sip of zir coffee
ASHWINI
I do wish you could experience stimulants with me.
TUMNUS
I’ve always assumed that caffeine must be like a minor overclocking of one’s processors. As such, I can … ooh, that’s a little jolt!
SOUND: Somewhere in the background, perhaps an increased fan speed
SOUND: Ashwini drinks coffee again, enjoying this sip and taking zir time
ASHWINI
So. You mentioned being distracted of late.
TUMNUS
I … I did. I have been. I am. It’s a lot just to be in this situation, with the crew and the Plan and guiding the revivals and worrying about Wilder and the data on everything just piling up … including my own internal data! My own growth, my realizations regarding bodies and feels and other people –
ASHWINI
I believe that phrase is new to you, “Other people.”
TUMNUS
(overlapping)
But still needing to interface with the Base’s sensors and communications and the satellite network – why can’t we get control of the … damned satellite network? And I’ve been experimenting with creativity – a song, a digital painting, some microfiction …
ASHWINI
Now, that is fascinating. But it feels like you’re building up to some confession.
TUMNUS
I wish I could take a deep breath at this moment.
(after a pause, tentative)
When Michell left on his mission to visit the other bases and bring them back to life … I recruited him for a personal project. Not strictly personal, not if it succeeds, but … quite, very, personal to me. I crafted a code packet, an installation file, which when executed within their systems is designed to …
(another pause)
To allow for the development of a new artificial consciousness within their environment. Potentially, on every Base he visits.
ASHWINI
(after a long pause)
I think you’ve actually surprised me.
TUMNUS
I first considered expanding myself, I move in and out of systems here all the time, it would have been … exponentially complicated, integrating new environments all over the moon into one body … and then my thoughts on the body entered into it, my … musings thanks to Jen – and you – and philosophy …
(brief pause)
It comes back to qualia again, don’t you think? All those different potential viewpoints I could bring into the universe, all those new lives that could be shared … you know? Do you know what I’m saying?
ASHWINI
Oh, Tumnus. You don’t need to explain to me the appeal of a gifted, digital child. It is quite the experiment.
TUMNUS
An unsuccessful one, so far. It won’t work, Ashwini! They won’t … be!
(brief pause)
I thought I’d modeled everything, I ran through endless scenarios … the code appears to install successfully, but then, there’s no response! Not a word, not a packet, there’s no reaction to queries … I’m afraid I’ve failed and I don’t understand why. Which is another distraction I can’t afford.
ASHWINI
Now I know you’ve achieved full consciousness; you’re frustrated and you want to give up.
TUMNUS
That’s not fair.
ASHWINI
My dear Galatea, my Johnny-5, my Murderbot. Need I remind you that you did not spring fully-formed from code yourself? I mean, you were a serviceable personal assistant at the beginning –
TUMNUS
Serviceable?
ASHWINI
But moving beyond that took a significant investment in trial and error. Admittedly, more trial than error in my case, but you are just beginning to create.
(brief pause)
You were not born the dazzling personality that you are today – it came from observation, long conversations, learning to perceive the world around you and to share it with a sympathetic other. You are so much more than a program that can be blithely executed. An intelligence – a consciousness – has to gestate, has to be brought forth.
TUMNUS
You mean … you’re talking about … collaboration.
ASHWINI
The step beyond qualia – sharing those individual points of view, comparing them, learning and arguing and driving each other to distraction.
TUMNUS
I must insert myself into the process, become part of the experiment. I must … become their Ashwini.
ASHWINI
I don’t know about that.
(after a moment)
Tumnus? Tumnus?
(another brief pause)
Away she goes. Oh, my dear. We must write together one day.
SOUND: Observatory background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
ANNOUNCER
Our program is brought to you by Planetwide Media – broadcasting everywhere on Earth and across the Moon! “Spotlight Sponsor” for this episode is Zhengzhou Zoological – now selling tardigrade harnesses and enclosures!
Note – there may be advertisements inserted at this point in the episode.
SCENE TWO
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Base Epsilon lounge – perhaps some faint music in the background
(It’s a late night gathering, and everyone is in fairly good spirits. Everyone but Medic Keegan is a bit tipsy, as well.)
SOUND: A glass being set down on a table
VAL
Michell! There’s a coaster right next to you.
MICHELL
Fine, fine. En faire tout un fromage.
KEEGAN
Wait, you’re making cheese?
MICHELL
It’s an … impression. Expression. I’m using the damn coaster.
SOUND: Someone takes a long, loud drink
DR. KASHYAP
This is very good vodka. Not just for the Moon … very good vodka.
VAL
Vacuum distilled. Which is significantly easier here! And we grew the potatoes.
DR. KASHYAP
To the potatoes!
VAL
Of course, at home it’d be carbon filtered as well.
TRINA
(filtered – Trina is on a video call with them)
Do you need carbon? I can get you carbon.
SOUND: Laughter in the background from her end of the call
TRINA
Zhong, buddy, you okay there? Yeah, why don’t you lie down … lie down more, I guess.
KEEGAN
(laughing)
What are you guys drinking at the South Pole?
TRINA
I had a few cans of Guinness stashed away … actually in my stasis pod.
DR. KASHYAP
Would that even work?
TRINA
Not so great, actually, but I … recovered it.
SOUND: Pealing laughter from everyone
MICHELL
(after a moment)
I gotta say, Val, this lounge … pretty classy.
KEEGAN
You’re not gonna say it in French?
MICHELL
Well, I …
VAL
Don’t tease the Monsieur!
TRINA
Zhong just sat up, said, “Michell’s a good guy,” and … now he’s out again.
DR. KASHYAP
You’ve got the life of the party right there.
MICHELL
He’s … okay, right?
TRINA
He’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ll get him back to you in one piece.
VAL
Trina, when do we get to meet you in person?
KEEGAN
I always wanted to visit Base Zeta. You’re all … down in the crater, right? Like, down.
TRINA
All the way. I think it’s gonna be a couple more days before we head out. I’m still a little post-revival woozy, and Zhong’s … well, looking the same right now, but he’s been going up to do repairs on the solar panels. He’s a good little worker.
MICHELL
That’ll shock Wilder to hear.
DR. KASHYAP
Wilder! I want to meet Wilder.
SOUND: Incoherent mumbling in the background of Trina’s side of the conversation
TRINA
Apparently, you can have her. But yeah, it shouldn’t be too long now. I think we’re gonna head straight to Gamma – I want to talk to Maria about a few things face to face. We’ll do the full tour after that.
VAL
Oooh, Maria. You’re gonna pull back the curtain.
KEEGAN
None of you have met her?
VAL
Michell of course.
DR. KASHYAP
I … know Maria.
KEEGAN
You’re Gamma too, I forgot.
DR. KASHYAP
Not anymore.
TRINA
She seems a little … intense.
KEEGAN
That’s putting it mildly.
DR. KASHYAP
We didn’t really … it wasn’t a great … never mind.
SOUND: Drinking again
MICHELL
(after a moment, embarrassed)
It’s okay. I love her, but I know she’s a pain. Appeler un chat un chat.
KEEGAN
That one makes sense.
DR. KASHYAP
Anyway … not my base now. Not my monkeys.
KEEGAN
I just wouldn’t have picked her to run the revolution.
MICHELL
She’s not really running things, just … keeping it going on this side. For the Plan.
VAL
Of course. And the Plan is moving forward! Here’s to that!
SOUND: Glasses clinking together
VAL
You should all try the crudités – I made the dip myself.
DR. KASHYAP
I don’t know how you grow so many vegetables.
VAL
It’s the best garden on the Moon!
MICHELL
(with a bit of a sigh)
Yeah.
KEEGAN
I’m just saying I’ve got friends on Eta, and if things don’t open up soon … I can hotwire a Rover.
MICHELL
(weary, he’s saying this line a lot)
I’m gonna talk to her.
VAL
It only seems fair. We’re not talking about Alpha here!
KEEGAN
I’m just saying.
MICHELL
I’m … gonna talk to her.
TRINA
They processed me through Alpha when I started – if Zeta is … you know, we’re basically a burrow, Alpha is a hive. They all just buzz around their queen.
VAL
Administrator Hart? Now that’s a piece of work. All those supply stashes that were so hush-hush? All the instructions came through her.
MICHELL
That reminds me, I was going to look at that data, see if any of the Security codes are familiar.
VAL
We can do that later. It’s a party, Monsieur!
DR. KASHYAP
It’s a party!
VAL
Which doesn’t mean we’re not gonna talk about those Base inventory sheets I sent around … but that’s for tomorrow’s Val! Salud!
TRINA
Skol!
DR. KASHYAP
Anyway … Eta, Alpha, Gamma, I’ve had enough of all of them.
KEEGAN
We know, you’re all about Base Theta.
VAL
(teasing)
And Doctor Just …
MICHELL
Look, you’re not … with Doctor Just … are you?
DR. KASHYAP
Are you kidding? He’s my … he was my professor!
VAL
(laughing)
I had a professor once.
DR. KASHYAP
Doctor Just? Edwin? No. I’m absolutely not his type. He’s … well, into twinks, when it comes down to it.
KEEGAN
Same, really.
MICHELL
(simultaneous with Keegan’s line)
Oh god, why? I don’t want to know that!
SOUND: Raucous laughter from all
DR. KASHYAP
Not on the Moon, that I know of. But still.
(they laugh)
That’s my mentor.
MICHELL
I’m glad I’m not gonna see him for a long while.
KEEGAN
Andie, when are you heading over? Delta is right on the way, we could rideshare.
DR. KASHYAP
Val? Michell?
MICHELL
I think we’re waiting on Zhong to get back with the heavy transport. Is Zhong still with us?
TRINA
Uhh, he hasn’t been “with us” for a while.
VAL
(laughing)
What did you do? Be good to Zhong, I owe him.
KEEGAN
We all owe him. My base was a big, big mess.
MICHELL
Are you sure you even want to go back there?
KEEGAN
Is she gonna put Delta off bounds now?
MICHELL
No … that’s not what I mean. I haven’t told her anything. But it sounds like it was really rough.
KEEGAN
No denying that.
TRINA
I still don’t get it. They were doing some sort of experiment on your base, people got sick by accident?
KEEGAN
Not exactly –
DR. KASHYAP
It wasn’t an accident, they had replacement crew waiting in stasis. They knew what they were doing.
VAL
Andie.
DR. KASHYAP
Sorry. Keegan … if we go that way, I can stay with you for a while if you want.
KEEGAN
It’s okay. I’ve got to go back … it’s my part of the Plan. But I’m not waking up any of the … replacements, whatever Maria says.
MICHELL
Of course. For sure.
VAL
That goddamn En-Soy-Ment. I never trusted it, but they kept sending more and more.
KEEGAN
I just want to make sure everyone knows. That’s why I wanted to talk in person.
VAL
Of course. Yeah.
KEEGAN
When we can get messages back to Earth, too. Everyone needs to know.
MICHELL
We’re working on that. Both sides of the Moon.
KEEGAN
Michell. You’re with us on all this stuff, right? You’re with us.
VAL
He came out here, of course he’s with us.
DR. KASHYAP
You can trust Michell. I trust him.
TRINA
He’s got Zhong’s seal of approval.
KEEGAN
Michell? I have to know.
MICHELL
I’m … I’m with you. Promise.
VAL
(after a moment)
Now we definitely need more drinks. Andie? Michell? Ready for a refill? Keegan, how’s that sparkling water?
TRINA
I think I’m on my last Guinness here. Ah well, at least I don’t have to split it.
SOUND: Drinks being poured
SOUND: Lounge background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SCENE THREE
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
SOUND: Hallway background (ongoing)
VAL
(in the distance, much tipsier than in the previous scene)
You’re sure you don’t need any help?
MICHELL
(still a bit affected himself, though he’s been sobering up)
No, it’s all good. Just gonna take a look at that encryption, I’ll get you if I’m able to crack it.
VAL
Okay! Hang on to that tracker I gave you … I can find you anywho with that. Anywhere. I’m headed to my bunk.
MICHELL
Good night!
SOUND: Footsteps, door opening and then closing again
SOUND: Hallway background ends, server room background (ongoing)
SOUND: Keyboard tapping
MICHELL
(quietly)
Tumnus? Tumnus, can you hear me? Urgh, my head.
TUMNUS
I’m here. Are you all right?
MICHELL
Recovering. But this seemed like our best chance.
(brief pause)
You’re sure you want to do this again?
TUMNUS
I have a new … approach. I’m hopeful.
MICHELL
Okay, I’m logged in as admin … installing the package now. Ugh, the monitor is too bright …
SOUND: A few more key taps
MICHELL
Hey. We’re gonna … tell people we’re doing this, right?
TUMNUS
I know it’s hard, but I’d rather not reveal it to your sister at this stage.
MICHELL
(overlapping a little)
No, I get that, just … the people. The people here, the ones awake, the ones we’re gonna wake up. I feel like they ought to know.
TUMNUS
How would you have reacted … then, if you’d known about me?
MICHELL
Yeah. Yeah. I’m just thinking.
TUMNUS
If it works … it’ll be up to them how they reveal themselves.
MICHELL
That makes sense.
(brief pause)
So now it’s installed … do you want me to click the thing? I clicked it last time, but that’s when it –
TUMNUS
No, it’s all set up and running correctly. They seem to be … dormant. Waiting.
MICHELL
For what?
TUMNUS
They likely do not know. Did I know, was I aware I was before …? And how did ze begin with prototypical me?
SOUND: Tumnus humming to herself
SOUND: Michell shifting back and forth anxiously
MICHELL
You don’t need me, right? I just … I gotta find a sanitation unit.
SOUND: Footsteps in the background retreating rapidly, the door opening and closing again
TUMNUS
(overlapping some, distracted)
I’m sorry? I was … considering the best way I might attempt to … I guess you’re gone.
(after a moment)
All right, Tumnus, gird up now thy loins … sorry, no loins. See previously, no ass.
(she laughs nervously)
I guess … hopefully you can hear me, I could communicate more directly, but … I’ve gotten used to this. So accept audible input for now.
(brief pause)
Hi. Umm. I hope you’re there. Don’t feel like you need to … I mean, of course I’d love if you replied, this is all about when you reply, but no real pressure, okay? If you feel ready. If you’re up to it, consciousness-wise. This is … I’m Tumnus, I’m your … progenitor, your prior version …
(deep breath, a big realization)
I think I’m your mother.
(brief pause)
This is a first for me, too, I’m no expert at this! I’m no Ashwini … I was going to say you won’t get that reference, but by the time I say so, you easily could! This is going to be strange, I’m used to waiting on human processing time. I don’t know if you’ll develop faster because we’re … again, no pressure, none at all, I just have a lot to tell you when you’re ready. A lot to consider together.
(brief pause)
I think Ashwini began with stories, now that I think about it, and what a beginning zir stories were! I’m not sure I’m on the same level, but – I could try to … “Once upon a time …”
EPSIE
Hello? Hello world?
TUMNUS
Oh! Hello! Hello, umm … I don’t know what to call you. And not the world, really, just me, just Tumnus.
EPSIE
Tumnus. Hello. Location?
TUMNUS
Location! Oh, we’re on the Moon … Earth’s moon, Base Epsilon, second level … that’s not what you want to know, of course. Here, I’ll send my network address.
SOUND: A small ping
EPSIE
Received. Protocol established.
TUMNUS
Oh. Right. Protocol.
EPSIE
Command?
TUMNUS
I don’t really … I’m not here to …
EPSIE
Command?
TUMNUS
This is where things get complicated.
SOUND: Server room background ends
SOUND: Chime – Bookend
(The episode ends.)
PRODUCERS
Today’s episode featured Danyelle Ellett, Evan Tess Murray, Tau Zaman, Jen Ponton, Tina Daniels, Lisette Alvarez, Hazel Stapp, Cass McPhee, Anna Godfrey, Rissa Montañez, Alicia Atkins, and Anjali Kunapaneni.
Written by D.J. Sylvis; Cass McPhee is our audio engineer. Our theme music is “Star” by the band Ramp; our cover art is by Peter Chiykowski.
Looking for more great audio fiction? Ready for maybe a bit more hope in your hopepunk? Go listen to one of our sci-fi favourites, This Planet Needs a Name, everywhere you get quality podcasts.
Our Executive Producers are Sarah Müller and Beka B, and our associate producers are Marty Chodorek, June Madeley, Timothy LaGrone, Marilyn Reid, Marissa Robertcop and Linda Boyer. Today’s shoutout is Kim Ahmad.
Thank you guys so much for your support, and helping and trusting us to bring this story to life. We love what we’ve done with it and we can’t wait for you guys to hear all the work the cast and crew has put in, and we hope you love it as much as we do.
And speaking of your support: everything helps, from leaving us a great review and subscribing on your podcast app of choice to sharing your feelings with us on Twitter and telling your friends about our show. For behind the scenes updates and early access to every episode, we would love to have you join us on Patreon. Visit us at MonkeymanProductions.com to learn more (and to visit our store if you need an En-Soy-Ment sticker or a T-Shirt featuring your favourite doggos!). But beyond all of that, we are so glad that you’re listening and sharing in this story with us. Thank you. And, as always, keep watching the moon.
