We Need a Geek Party

by Leeman Kessler

We need a Geek Party. No, not the kind where everyone drinks and argues over SNES or Sega while trying to outquote Joss Whedon’s intellectual properties at each other, although those are always appreciated. No, I’m talking politics. It is high time that the Geeks refused to be ruled by those who don’t know the difference between Golden Age Green Lantern to his post-Silver Age descendants, or by people who think that Star Wars and Star Trek have the exact same fan base. For years now, we’ve allowed ourselves to be a cultural adjunct like foodies, wine enthusiasts, or Libertarians, but now it’s time we actually mobilize.

Let’s look at the facts: Geeks have a wide body of expertise in both current day to day problem-solving and in a whole slew of speculative crisis management. Who’s going to know how to lead a post-apocalyptic nation? Senator Whocares from the Committee for Agricultural Disparity, or any of us who have played Fallout obsessively since the first isometric game came out? I think the answer is clear.

We Geeks have a long and proud history of debate and we’re not afraid to get into nuances. People complaining about how bills are too long and no-one can parse them? Give them to a couple of Geeks and they’ll not only spot continuity flaws with the original series (the Constitution), but point out every grammar mistake and the poor font choice. You also won’t find the same level of stagnated discussion, as Geeks will find new and interesting ways to argue their cases.

Imagine how much cooler C-Span will be when you’ve got video edits of Gaius Baltar cut together showing his support for Highway expansion in the Southwest.

And then there is the innate Geek sense of justice. Geeks demand retribution for wrongs visited upon them; just look at how they roundly turned on the terrorist George Lucas after his attempt to destroy our childhoods, or how quick they were to shun Orson Scott Card once it became apparent that the Brain-Eater finally got to him. We can take that same energy which demands consistency in plot continuity and apply it to all the world’s ills.

All we need is a leader to act as a lightning rod around which all Geeks will raise their banner high and take Washington. Take Ottawa. Take the world! What’s Neil Gaiman doing these days? Maybe he wants to rule us.

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